Deacon Lawrence Eschbach

A married deacon cannot fully function within his ordained ministry unless his wife is truly one with him by supporting him in formation before ordination and after ordination in his ministry of altar, word and charity. So intimate is their relationship and unity in the sacrament of marriage, that the Church requires the wife’s consent before her husband can be ordained a deacon.

I was ordained in 1984 by Bishop Edward D. Head. During our five years of formation, my wife attended all the required classes. In the 27 years I have served the diocese, my wife has been my support and my strength, my partner in prayer, and without hesitation, has given me up to serve in parishes. 

She works at my side at St. Luke’s Mission of Mercy, visits the sick, comforts the dying, and has taught kindergarten for the past 34 years. The Lord willing, we will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary in 2012.
What has sustained us in our sacraments of matrimony and holy orders is prayer with the weekly and often the daily, reception of Jesus in the Eucharist. From the first day of our marriage, we have never missed praying together at the end of each day. Individual prayer is important, but because of our oneness in marriage, we must also pray daily to God as a couple.

For those who may be desiring to know more about the diaconate and wondering if you may have a vocation, the diocese will be conducting a series of information meetings at locations in the Buffalo area, Fredonia and Batavia. They are as follows:

Springbrook – Elma: St. Vincent DePaul Church, 6441 Seneca St., Friday, Feb. 17, 7 p.m. in the muti-purpose room adjacent to the sanctuary of the church.

Williamsville: St. Gregory the Great Church, 200 St. Gregory Court off Maple Road, Friday, March 16, at 7:30 pm in the gathering room next to the church. Access through the church

Fredonia: St. Joseph Church, 145 East Main St., Thursday, March 22, at 7 p.m.

Olean: St. Mary of the Angels Church, Wednesday, April 11, time to be announced. 

Hamburg: St. Mary of the Lake Church, S-4737 Lake Shore Road, Wednesday, April 18, at 7 p.m. in the school through the side door. 

Batavia: Resurrection Church at St. Mary site, April 21. Time will be announced.

Wellsville: Immaculate Conception Church, 6 Maple Ave. Time will be announced.

Attendance of wives is very important. However, we understand that sometimes it is impossible due to prior family obligations. If possible, husbands should make every attempt to attend with their wives. 

My brother deacon, Greg Kandra of the Brooklyn Diocese, said the following in regard to a theology of the deacon and his wife. His statement places extreme priority for the recognition of a deacon’s wife’s role to the overall success of her husband’s calling, formation, and sacramental service to the Church.

“The theology of the diaconate and of the deacon’s wife is yet to be written. Instead of focusing on the function of a deacon and wife, we must focus on the essence of what the deacon couple is as examples of mutual and sacramental service within the Church (JPII). This essence is conferred sacramentally. Through baptism, are we not all anointed priest, prophet, and king (even the wives)? In marriage, are we not sacramentally one body, one mind in Christ? 

“A special grace is shared by both a permanent deacon and his wife. It couldn’t be anything else because of the grace of marriage. Now, how we function within that grace is another story. Func- tion can be limited and determined by tradition and need. Function can and has been changed (Vatican II). But, does that mean the wife has an obligation to serve in a certain capacity? No, but she has the grace of freedom to answer her own vocation which can be expressed through the grace of the sacraments of baptism, reconciliation, Eucharist, and marriage. Mother Church recognizes the deacon’s wife as a sacramental being, and we can develop the theology to include her fully in this life we call diaconate.”

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